causewecool:

spankmeagainplease:

Feel free to sexually harass me if you’re male. You know what they say “Boys will be boys.”. Although I’m not sure any of you will want to do that since I’m not very modest, therefore not attractive.
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The new principal at my school used two phrases while addressing new dress code rules to a class.

"Modest is hottest." and "Boys will be boys."

He should have said something more along the lines of: “The school dress code was established to provide our students with a safe and orderly learning environment that is free from distractions.”

Let’s start with the phrase “Modest is hottest.” Shall we?

Modest-Having or showing a moderate estimation of one’s own talents, abilities, and value.

If modest is hottest, then it’s not modest.

You are literally sending the message to young girls, who are already struggling with self confidence, that hiding their body makes them more attractive. You are establishing a sense of shame in these young, developing minds and bodies. A human has the right to wear whatever they feel comfortable in. Showing less skin doesn’t make you any more attractive. Showing more skin does not make you any less attractive. When someone calls you attractive that just means that they are attracted to you.

At what point in your career did you find it appropriate to define my “hotness”? Why are you at all concerned with how “hot” I am? You are teaching us, through modesty, to be objects of sexual arousal. I’m sorry, but I don’t dress myself to look “hot” for anyone. I dress myself as a way of expressing myself and my body. “If covering up my body is supposed to make people sexually/physically attracted to me, then how would those people feel if I decide to have sexual relations with them, without clothes on?” “How am I supposed to love and feel proud of my naked body and develop a sense of sexuality when exposing my body is deemed shameful and unattractive?” Since when should being “hot” be my concern. I don’t want to be with someone who just thinks I’m hot. I want to be with someone who loves and respects all the parts of my mind, personality, and body. THAT’S what you should be teaching, not “How to be hot.”.

My body is not a sinful temptation that needs to be hidden. 
My body is not your personal, sexual object. 
My body does not overshadow my character. 
My body is not any more sexual than a man’s body. 
My body is not here to look “hot” for you.

Next up is “Boys will be boys.”

Being a boy refers to your gender. That’s all.

It does not make you constantly sexually aroused, animalistic, or sexually uncontrollable, but for some reason society has come to the conclusion that you are this stereotype. This is extremely sad. This gender stereotype is unfair to all men. By telling them who they are as a man you are absolutely taking away their moral agency. “But he’s a teenager. He’s raging with hormones.” You don’t think I’m raging with hormones as well? Believe me I am. Men are not stupid. They are not unable to see when someone is not consenting to sex. It’s not ‘in their nature’ to rape because they are a man, it’s not ‘in their nature’ because IT’S WRONG TO RAPE SOMEONE. Raping someone is a cognitive choice. (how modestly the victim dresses does not affect them being raped). When the few people that do sexually harass people happen to be male and you use the excuse “Boys will be boys.” you are not only excusing their behavior, you are condoning it. It’s this “Boys will be boys.” mentality, culture, and attitude that condone sexual assault. Whenever the excuse “Boys will be boys.” is used, it’s just an exercise of male privilege. It’s this attitude that condones sexual assault. You are giving them a free license that makes it okay for them to be sexually violent, that says “Well I’m a boy, it’s just who I am.” Sex needs to stop being about “no no no bad dirty gross shameful” and start being about “Yes. Let’s have consenting sex because I want to.” Consent. THAT’S what you should be teaching, not “Well you know how they are… Boys will be boys!” 

Boys are not sexually uncontrollable.
Boys do not have a genetic, animalistic, violent nature.
Boys are not born with a natural desire for destruction or control.

Despite what society and culture keeps trying to cram down everyone’s throat, having a penis doesn’t make it okay to sexually harass someone. The false idea that men can’t control themselves is so unfair and completely ridiculous.
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The next day He called me down to his office to discuss my concerns. (Students and teachers told him about it, which I expected)
I spent a good hour and a half arguing with the principle about his comments when he called me down to his office, today. I offered to send him what I posted if he was interested in reading it. He said “No, that won’t be necessary.” I explained to him that I wanted him to read what I wrote and I would appreciate it if he did. He said “No, I don’t really care to read it. That’s okay.”

I asked him what he meant by the phrase “boys will be boys” and he explained that if a girl is inappropriately dressed that it can lead to inappropriate, sexual touching and staring (sexual harassment). If a boy chooses to sexually harass someone, it’s his choice no matter what his gender is.
He explained to me that boys are more “wound up” than girls are. I didn’t quite understand what he meant by that so I asked him for a different adjective and after a minute of mumbling he chose the word “aggressive” but then followed that up with “…well I don’t think that’s the correct word to use…”. I agree, not the best word to use, eh? 

I asked him to explain why boys are different than girls in this regard and he said “Well to start, all boys are attracted to girls…” I interrupted with “No. There are actually boys who are attracted to other boys.” He laughed and said “Oh, yes of course!”… I guess that part must have slipped his mind.

I asked him, in general, what the difference is between girls and boys. He said that boys “misbehave more” and are “outgoing”. He said that girls are “reserved”. That’s all. That’s the word he used, “reserved”. Boys and girls are different because they have different organs and hormones. Being a girl doesn’t automatically make me reserved. Just like being a boy doesn’t make you automatically misbehave. I explained to him that by using the phrase “Boys will be boys.”, he is excusing and condoning bad behavior from boys, such as sexual harassment and rape. “But that’s not reality, that’s your opinion.” he said. 

He explained that his daughters “behave” and that his nephews were disrespectful… because they are boys. I said “That has nothing to do with their gender. They act that way because of how they were raised, the environment they are living in, and the choices they make.” 

I told him that the phrases he used were sexist and stereotypical and unfair to all genders. I explained to him that many students and people of society were offended by what he said and the phrases he used. I told him that I thought he should apologize for what he said and explain to students and society that this kind of message is not okay or appropriate.

He said he wouldn’t apologize for that, but he would give me an apology, which was “I’m sorry you feel that way.” 

After he dodged almost every question I asked by sharing his plans to improve LHS, he decided that he had had enough of not being able to answer my questions or concerns and ended our discussion by saying “I’m going to end this discussion.” and I was sent back to class.
There is so much wrong with what this principal is doing that I can’t even list it, but yeah here’s your takeaway:

He explained that his daughters “behave” and that his nephews were disrespectful… because they are boys. I said “That has nothing to do with their gender. They act that way because of how they were raised, the environment they are living in, and the choices they make.”

They are disrespectful because you have specifically told them they can do whatever they want and you will excuse it because they’re boys!

Lakeland Senior High School and his name is Mr. Martinez

(Source: brunette-nymphette)

not one Ryan Kesler, but another Kesler joining him!

(Source: nordiquebec)

sealcat:

canada is weird

Sorry. sealcat:

canada is weird

Sorry. sealcat:

canada is weird

Sorry.

sealcat:

canada is weird

Sorry.

I’m just going to leave this here.

I’m just going to leave this here.

#Vancouver from Hastings Sunrise. Regram from @feedmehappy. #sunset #city #urban #downtown #cityscape

✿ -  I’m too shy to talk to you
✩ - You inspire me
☼ - You make me smile
☏ - I wish we’d talk more
✌- I want to get to know you
☺ - I want to be your friend
#- I want to thank you
✓ - I like you
♣ - I want to cuddle you
❀ - I think I’m falling for you
* - I want to kiss you
♥ - I’m in love with you
愛 - I love you
∞ - I want to date you
© - Will you be mine?
(´・ω・`) - I’ll pay you 350,000 yen for anal

(Source: jeremymckinnxn)

Taking into account the fact that I’ll probably be labelled a huge drag and accused of taking things too seriously, I have a rant. A rant whose subject is so far reaching it affects us all on a day to day basis and incites so much attention on the internet it’s beyond boring: The Starbucks Names On Cups policy.

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Open Instagram. Chances are, if you live in North America, you’ll find at least one nicely filtered and thoughtfully composed square image of a Starbucks cup with a misspelled name on it in glorious black Sharpie. Go ahead and chuckle. It’s funny shit (who doesn’t remember Geoff’s “Jatt” cup? So good!). We’ve all laughed. I have. It’s one of life’s little hilarities that keep things interesting and act as excellent social media fodder. Who doesn’t like a good “fail”?

Think about it from my perspective, that of the person in the apron on the other side of the counter. The Names On Cups policy is stressful for Baristas. “Tall chai latte? Excellent choice! Can I have your name to write on the cup?” Our heart skips a couple panicky beats after that sentence as we hope, pray, that the dude will answer, “Mike,” or, “John.” We feel dumb when we have to ask how to spell a name. We feel frustration when we have to ask you to repeat yourself because the group of ladies in the corner laughed or the coffee timer beeped at the exact moment you said your name. We feel shame when somebody named Siobhan rolls her eyes like we’re purposefully wasting her time. We’re not. Actually, all we’re trying to do is a) connect personally with our customers, followed by b) ensure that you get the drink that you ordered, all while keeping those feelings hidden behind our customer service smiles.

Now think about it from the perspective of a barista who works in a market like Vancouver where a large number of customers come from cultures with names that are unfamiliar. I wouldn’t expect a barista who came from Korea to know how to spell European names that I, a super-WASP*, grew up being familiar with. Just like I wouldn’t know how to spell a Korean name right away without asking. When all else fails, phonetics come into play, which is why Siobhan might get a latte for Shivan. We do the best we can with the information we have.

I feel confident when I say that the majority of people who work at Starbucks want to give excellent customer service, and Names on Cups is a key part of doing that. Knowing my customers’ names is a point of pride for me, especially when I can personally welcome an entire morning rush by name and/or drink of choice. I’m sure that’s true for other baristas as well. 

So, what good does shaming do for you or the people who just want to serve you a cup of coffee? Frankly, it’s a little insulting. And if you feel insulted for having your name spelled wrong, that’s on you and your unrealistic expectations of other people. 

Try something new this week. Spell your name for the person who asks for it, even if you think your name is simple. We like and appreciate that (Thanks, Mayuko from yesterday!). Or, if your name does get spelled wrong, post the photo without an insulting caption like “Starbucks Fail”, which places the blame solely on the shoulders of somebody that isn’t to blame for anything but trying their best. What I’ll do in return is smile, thank you, and be happy to make you your drink extra delicious. Hell, I might even throw in an extra shot or a pastry. 

It’s just another way we can be excellent to each other.

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/rant

*WASP = White Anglo-Saxon Protestant, not one of those giant wasps that are terrifying and weird. I don’t expect everybody to know that, so I thought I’d spell it out for you. SEE? IT WORKS!

tastefullyoffensive:

Graham Norton asks Benedict Cumberbatch about his otter meme.

[grahamnorton/via]

Can he be cuter.

chasedeleo:

Luongo thinks ur trash

fatherhurrd:

Look, self-righteous people sans children, I get you. 7 months ago, I was one of you. I’d hear some pitiful bleating child in the supermarket and roll my eyes skyward, praying the gods of fertility would dispatch angels from heaven to nuke everyone’s genitals with lasers and spare us all from…

My friend’s art installation at Burning Man 2013.

fishingboatproceeds:

Amazing news: Willem Dafoe will play Peter Van Houten in the movie adaptation of The Fault in Our Stars.

I get it, and I like it.

And of course I did it. Best .gif ever? #TheSimpsons

And of course I did it. Best .gif ever? #TheSimpsons

DIE……..T.

DIE……..T.

fatherhurrd:

There was a great article in this month’s Esquire that focused on the progress (or lack thereof) in equalizing gender roles in a family dynamic. Namely, that for all the advancements we’ve made promoting equality in the workplace (we HAVE made those, right?), we’ve still got a long way to go…

A great look at gender equality within the family dynamic. Daddy bloggers, where are you?